Hidden Fears

 

   She sits and wonders
through all her dreams
wondering if he will be there
to rescue her from all
her pain she hides inside
Everyday dying just a little
more than before
Empty memories haunt me
through the day
them,
those memeries
when you took all of me away
you said you would never hurt me
as I felt you hold me down
hitting and taking all of my pride
throwing it to the ground
closing my eyes
holding back the tears
as you force all upon me
feeling the sting
as your hands touch my face
then begin to strike everywhere
the anger, the bitterness
I begin to feel
as I drift to another place
to block out all the pain
I see all the angels
dancing around
a place I cannot reach
and soon it will be to late
one day soon I will end it
tis my only fate
each time I wake up
I am reminded of the pain
of the bruises on the outside
and the ones on the inside
you broke your promise to as
you hold me down still
my screams cannot be heard
as you enter against my will.
one day all will see
just what you did
but then it will be to late
I have become use to this hideing
putting on a mascarade
no one ever really sees
the and anger
inside until it is to late

Febuary 18, 2003
Jayme Rainer- Alverson

 

 

 

 

Grandpa

 

Sitting here watching you
slowly fade away,
My heart is in tormoil
my soul afraid,
Looking back Remembering,
all the times we shared,
Wondering what you must be thinking
whats going through your head.
knowing soon the time is coming,
I know I will dread,
looking at you I see
a man so fragile and scared..
But inside I see
a man so strong and brave,
I remember your smile
your kind words spoken.
what happened? why did it happen?
You have become a man broken
your honor, your pride,
always standing firm.
Oh how you love us but oh how you could
scourn.
your hands now are so bruised,
from many diffrent things,
before they were hands of perpetuate means
I find myself starring
crying silently out
wanting to hold you
letting you know its
alright to let it all out


I LOVE YOU GRANPA

Jayme Alverson

 

 

 

Plea

 

Torn, my body ashamed,
my fear is all that is left,
not knowing my fate.
My heart beats heavily,
as the bra bound wrist cause pain,
looking down,
forever in shame.
Shame of knowing I displeased
my Owner.
My head is so heavy as my body
breaks,
My pleas I wonder,
will they give me my fate?
tear stained eyes,
begin overly to fill,
the passion I had,
is a river revealed.
please, please,please
Torture me to your will.
forgive my insilance,
use my body for your thrill,
for it is yours,
to do with what you will.
the shame over powers me,
beckeaning your name,
cover me, cover me,
conceal and hide my shame,
see me for who I am ,
and not my mistakes,
for I am yours,
take, take take.......

Jayme Alverson

this is for ColonelTorture.......
an inspiration

 

 

 

 

                                                                         

Betrayal of the Heart


Betrayal of the Heart through the time of my life
everything has faded
the one who once was so vibrant
life has been so cruel and violent
I hide inside the shell that as a child
I created
One day I thought that I would break free
but sadly there has been no such day
broken are the winds that were once
intact
where did the hate come from
why the hurt
was I so bad that
the anger had to be taken out on me
all through my life?
now I sit in a corner
all alone
afraid of letting go
revealing who I truely am
all i know is hurt anger and pain
they all say " see her there that girl is
insane
"
I dont even bother any longer
to see the other world
the other side
the side they say is good
in my heart there is no such
thing..
I hate the person that I have become
always putting on a mascarade
so others do not see the pain and hurt and
all the anger balled up inside
tonight I cut my wrists
and as I watched the blood flow
I saw it all slip away
my heart was led astray
now my heartbeat slowly fades
this, this was

My Betrayal of the Heart


Jayme Alverson September 2, 2004

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                          

Sliced Wrists See the Dark red liquid flow,
the lovely imenescent glow,
the life drains from my wrists,
you see,
tormented by the things that
cannot be.
All my life suffering this pain,
but noone cares,
my life was in vain.
Haunted by the past,
now more so by this death,
the life I chose to take.
My pain is not for others to see,
its only mine to keep with me.
sitiing in this bath of crimson red,
looking into the candle lit mirror,
fianally watching my own demise,
ending all my inner cry's.
this I hold up before my last breath......
this, this my sliced wrists....

Jayme Alverson
June 7, 2004

 

 

 

 

                                                                                         

Death Creeps In....


Alone I feel
In this prison I have made
All the hurt and anger
fading away
Death creeps on me
Like a silent ghost
Always reminding me
Death has its host
The need to be loved
To feel alive
Once again
Will never happen
No one can get in
I see the images
All around me they come
The images of the me
Who once was so fun
All that of long ago
Constant reminders
Death creeps in
The darkness takes hold
My pain feels like knives
Stabbing and piercing
Ones who tell me they care
Their words pierce my Heart and Soul
The things I could never let go
Death creeps in
Rain falling over my weak body...
The sounds pierce my soul
Silence is my only Control
Death creeps in

 

 

 

 

 

In seas of pale blue
I see you
Dancing in the moonlight,
Skin so pale under the nights light,
I see you there,
Your body so fragile
I see you
hair as black as the night,
eyes of the bluest sea,
you are my angel
The one I have dreamed of
You are there
my angel of the night
Our eyes I meet
Your hand extends to me
As you look at me so passionately
I feel you undressing me
We are both now undressed
and we dance together under
the darkened skys
I am in another world
A world of just our two soulz
As we lock hand in hand
I see your face over and over again
You hold me so close protecting me
I am forever free
I feel my body tremble as you caress my face
I tremble at your long embrace
I see you lifting me up so gentle
Placing me in the soft warm gentle beneith us
As the moonlit waves embelish our bodies
I feel your warm touch
Your soft lips touch mine
I can never get you off my Mind


Jayme Rainer-Alverson

 

 

 

 

 

This Knife goes through my heart,
In this the night leaving its mark.
The blood falls from the wound,
Forever sealing its doom.
I am the Imortal that walks in the dark,
I am alone in this Darkness I see…..
The wrath has inprisioned me,
Into something I never forseen.
Tis Darkness my companion now,
Who shall free me from this pain…….

No more knowing the light of day,
I will drink no more of this the blood.
I shall walk amoung thee in despair,
Knowing now of no ones care.
I was cursed many years ago,
The love I had whose blood did flow.
I am no more his eturnal soul…….

I failed in what he thought I was,
I cannot be the queen he desires.

My love for him is that I cannot explain,
But again the love I cannot gain.
I am cursed to be alone forever more,
And his heart I tore…..

I bind myself to never love again,
And to hurt none that I shall let in.
As kind as he was to me,
My foolish anger would not set me free.
So I am damned into this hell that surrounds me,
I love him so but he does not see,
The hurt,anger,and pain that posses me…..

I am cursed forever more,
I am the vampyre who walks alone……..

Jayme Rainer Alverson 10-22-99

 

 

 

 

 

 

Death is my pain
Death is my sorrow
for with Death there can be no tommorow
blackest of all angels is my love
but blackened is my heart to this world above

my soul is gone it is lost
I sold it all cost
I hate this body I hate this pain
I do not fear I live in vain
come to me my children hear my cry
looking into this darkened sky
I see all around me nothing but black
all black
my life slowly fades with out a careing soul
my heart bleeds forever more
the pain has taken over
its now in control
Jayme Rainer Alverson

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

this blood that stains thy face
is blood from another place
from the heart of my lover
with whom i could not dicover
it stains the pail of my flesh
through this darkened veil of mesh
i search but yet do I find
we were not of the same kind
so I ripped out his heart and made him mine
so now I have another soul next to me
wondering and searching alone eternally
this darkness is my only companion now
my darkness within is my solem vow
my love,
my darkest angel
I am here waiting
written on August 15,99 by Jayme Rainer Alverson

 

 

 

 

 

 

Eternity
Eternity is everlasting
Like the love I feel
Without you by my side
nothing will ever seem real
I will never be happy
Until I see your eyes
And when that day comes
It will end eternal crys
Not one day passes
That I dont think of you
Your all I want and need
There is nothing I won't do
To hear your sweet voice, Is what i am longing for
The soothing words you say, I want to hear more and more
When that day arrives
That I hear those words, Is the day time stops
And the pain will cease to hurt
to see your face forever, will stop the tears that fall
To look into yours, Now will end it all...


Jayme Rainer-Alverson

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lost Heart
My heart is aching, You are so far away,
The storm is raging, in the bay.
Chills run through me, Are you okay?
I love you my dark angel, Where are you?
There is so many distances, so many roads,
I am lost when you are not here.
I love you... It's all i can feel.
From the depths of my soul, my heart, I love you.
If I could be anything,
I'd be your tear, to be born in your eyes,
To live on your cheek, And to die on your lips,
If only I could touch you in that way,
Hold you close to me,
To have you see me, as I see you;
I am blind.
I cannot see you anymore,
All I know is I love you,
As you are not here with me,
I miss you, Where are you?
Where am I? I am Alone....

Jayme Rainer-Alverson
_________________




Jayme Rainer-Alverson